Pastor Alph Raises A Dead Man.

So when we look at a Pastor nowadays, we look at them like we look at Dynamo and Kris Angel and Cabonero. When they perform a "miracle", we don't ask if it's real. We ask ourselves HOW? How did the Pastor perform that neat trick? Because this must be the greatest trick I've witnessed since Dynamo walked across a river.
Let's look at the footage and use our God given brains, shall we?

"A person is smart; People are dumb"

Here is Pastor Alph. His mic is gold like Beyonce's, who is a well known showman... or showwoman? His stage is grand like Beyonce's too. Jesus just stood on a hill... And wheel chairs are great prop for the Pastor to have. It shows that some people rolled in and walked out.

A testimony from the person who wasn't even there. Remember that Trevor Noah joke where the coloured guy testifies graphically about a plane crash he was't even part of? It was a prophecy... praised to st Trevor.

Could the crying family be actors? How much money would it take to convice you to participate in such? Do Pastors have money? In a poverty stricken country like ours, would it even take that much?

This is the moment of truth... or lies. Depending... it is never straightforward with these Pastors nowadays.

Could they be actors? How much would it... wait, we've done this already. Pastors are rich and people can be bought.

Are the landlord's cries a little too forced? Or maybe she just didn't like the "Lazarus" fella that much.

Can Elliot aka "Lazarus" be an actor? How much did they pay him? Is he really dead? Did any one of the thousands who are there at least verify? Maybe check pulse... And did he just breathe before Pastor Alph wakes him up, or are your eyes are playing tricks on you? Maybe the Pastor is playing tricks on you.

How long can one hold their breath? How long can one hold their breath if they getting paid to do it? Elliot is obviously breathing, he just just waiting for the Pastor to say the magic word...

...RISE!

So he can rise up and over act...

Does Elliot look like he wants to laugh? Is his name even Elliot? Is e news going to interview him or is it just one of those DailySun stories?

The coloured woman next to the Pastor is not even impressed. A man just rose from the dead in front of her and she's nonchalant.

"I'm alive!", he thought. Then "it's deceptively hard to act surprised"... I think he nearly nailed it.

... And of course, when you get bumped by a car, who you gonna call? Pastor Alphie.

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Sjava: Umama (music video)

Sjava has dropped visuals for his new song, titled Umama. It is a sweet song dedicated to moms and all the special things they do for us. Would it have been too cheesy to release it on Mother's Day? Umama is basically about how Sjava - even though he is an old man covered in beard, misses his mom. I think most can relate. Let me watch the music video and see what it is all about; Here is Sjava, sick of fans and fame, he just wants to see his mom. So he leaves. Sjava is the humble fella. He left his sports cars at his mansion. He is hitch hiking. ... not once ... ... but twice. The guys at the back are laughing at this bearded celebrity, hitch hiking. Cows are a sign that he is close to home. He is about to see his Mama. His mom sees him from a distance. Sjava just stands there and lets his old mommy run to him. Mama thanks her ancestors for keeping Sjava safe and making him rich. Sjava is happy next to Mama again. I always wondered if ...

TOKOLOSHE: where she goes, it follows.

On the promising side... Did you see this? Did you hear about this?... Apparently there's a local movie out called TOKOLOSHE. I heard this morning. Maybe I am ignorant... or it wasn't marketed well. Which is a shame too, because the trailer looks fresh. It's for the horror movie buffs. A creaky door at night is always creepy. People with haunted house never lubricate the door hinges. She's sleeping peacefully, when something crawls into bed... could it be Tokoloshe? Yep. Tokoloshe has landed. ... and he's a hippy with blonde dreads. This is how we describe Joburg... otherwise known as Sin City. The nurse is a Tokoloshe encyclopedia. She scares the main character even before Tokoloshe himself makes an appearance. And of course the halls in haunted houses experience perpetual load shedding. Tokoloshe finally speaks. He is middle aged and Zulu. Here, he is trying to smooth talk a young, innocent kid... which is creepy on man...

KO _ Supa Dupa

KO has released visuals for his new single, Supa Dupa. Let's watch and see what it's all about. First shot is getting us ready for dreamy, psychedelic shots. That's KO there showing us that even when he was a kid, lying on the grass, he dreamt of stars and space. Big dreams. He has bleached his hair. Black paint on her, as if she not black enough. I don't understand what this running on a vinyl is all about. Maybe the girls chasing him because of his record or the FX department was just flexing their muscle. The themes of Supa Dupa are usual rap themes. Nothing ground breaking. ... When he was down. ... We clowns used to kicks him. He used to dream about flashy cars. ... Now he is sitting on the bonnet with cupid on the driver's seat. This is KO on a bed. A bed is where most dreams occur. He warns us about city snakes... but he's all cosy with a few. ... "mirror mirror on the wall... who's the bla...

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